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November 19 2017

Seventeen things you have to learn for yourself
as a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Pansexual
or otherwise Queer youth
by the time you are seventeen.

One is that the first Pride was a riot
I don’t mean that it was full of laughter, or that it was some grand party
where everyone spiraled up to dance among the stars
because the only glittering that night
was broken glass on cobblestones.
The first Pride was a riot
on the backstreets of New York
and they never tell us
that night
we won.
The only protest
in a decade full of turmoil
where the cops had to hide out in the bar they raided
and run from shouting rioters
who fought to reclaim the only patch of ground they had ever claimed as theirs
the first Pride was a riot,

and two, around the same time it took place
it was a debated topic in the gay community
whether or not they should say
that they weren’t mentally ill

which, three, homosexuality was removed
from the American Psychiatric Association’s list of mental illnesses
in 1974
all it took was a vote to declare that, whoops, we were never mentally ill

except, four, there are still teenagers being tortured today
in what some dare blaspheme as “therapy”
used to destroy their self-identity
in the hopes of making them normal.
except, four, the queer community still carries overwhelmingly high rates for poverty and homelessness and depression.

Did you know that, five,
over half the children forced into conversion therapy
commit suicide?

And six, that lesbians
were regarded as “hangers-on”
of the movement
by much of the gay community
before the AIDS crisis?

Because it turns out, seven, you can wear a rainbow on your shirt
and still be a bigot.
There are people who stick rainbows in their ears
or wear them on their fingers
or slap them across their cheeks in badges of defiance
and will still hate you for the color of your skin
or the size of your thighs
or your gender
or the way you like to kiss two or more genders
or none of the above.
Don’t ask me why this happens
it just does
I think it might be that we’ve all been taught to hate ourselves
for so damn long
that we don’t understand what to do
in a space with no hate.
Or maybe it’s that the space seems too small, because

eight, there are people who will tell you that you are not enough
that you do not reach the magical benchmark of “gay enough” to pass through the gate even
when you are some flavor of the rainbow other than straight-out gay.
eight, this is bullshit
eight, those people are bullshit.
eight, you are enough.
eight, there is always enough room.

nine, there is no overarching “homosexual agenda”
we’re all kind of flailing along in here trying to figure out some way to make it work
when most of us have nothing in common
except that society looked at us in different ways and decided we didn’t fit
so we could all go be misfits together
under one big rainbow flag

but just so you know, ten, there are plenty of other flags
there is one for you, I promise

and eleven, misfits may not all need the same things
but we need to stick together, especially in a world where

twelve—refer to point seven—there are lesbians who hate other lesbians
for having the audacity to be born in a body
that everyone looked at and saw “boy”
which brings me to

thirteen, there is so much to understand.

fourteen, you need to understand
because we need to stick together
and to stick together we do not have to be the same but we do have to understand
and it will be hard because
you were probably thrown into this world with no warning because

fifteen, being queer is not genetic and we are not unique among minorities
in that we collect our heritage through broken bits of history and research in a world constantly working to make those misfit bits go away
but we are unique in that when we try to prove our legacy
we can be laughed down
or re-erased
or flat out ignored
but I swear to you
you have a history as old as Alexander the Great
as beautiful as Sappho
as dignified as Abraham Lincoln
and as proud as Eleanor Roosevelt.

But even with that behind us
they have always watched us die.
because even though the bystander effect is bullshit, sixteen
Kitty Genovese was a lesbian, sixteen
Ronald Reagan is a mass murderer, sixteen
our children, your brothers and sisters and  siblings of all stripes and all colors and sexualities and genders are being murdered
through neglect
and rejection
and hate.

Sixteen, there is an entire generation of gay and bisexual men
missing from history
because the government chose to do nothing
when they were dying by the thousands.
sixteen, we died from the disease and died from going back into the closet and died for staying there and died for coming out,
sixteen, they laughed at us because they believed god was punishing us for daring to love,
sixteen, ashes of your forerunners rest on the lawn of the White House because

you are allowed
to be angry.
You do not have to be one of the nice gays
or one of the nice trans people
or sweet or kind or educate the rest of the world in something less than a yell
you are allowed to be so furious it scalds your bones
at the way we are forgotten
and passed over
at the way, as soon as June becomes July
we are expected
to go back to dying in silence
and mourning our dead
and kissing all alone
when no one can be offended
at the sight of us.
You are allowed to be angry
and scream down the stars
to shatter like broken glass at your feet
because you know what?
The first Pride
was a riot.

October 11 (via spondee-soliloquy)

UPDATE FROM 2017: it’s officially been a year since I first wrote and posted this and it’s taken off and grown in ways I could never, ever have imagined. Thank you, all of you, for listening.

If you’re not sick of listening to me ramble yet, I’ve put up an annotated version of this poem here, including links to some sources and some of my own personal thoughts and feelings on what I put into this poem.

(via spondee-soliloquy)

November 18 2017

I will write poems
in a cold house
with an open oven.
I will think of Crete,
its wild oregano
& trees punctuated
by apostrophes of figs.
Every thing
will be magic.
— Aracelis Girmay, from Conjugation (via pinaut)
Reposted byjointskurwysynpannakiesCoriLiarRainbowDashszyderathesilenceofthealcoholic



All our generation wants is a small apartment and a spouse that loves them back.

no, I want a huge loft and to be alone

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hey we need to talk about internalized misogyny and how many of us women grow up hating femininity because of how men treat it, but we also need to recognize that femininity isn’t for everyone! you can still unlearn internalized misogyny without going anywhere near dresses or the color pink and that’s fine! the idea that embracing being feminine is the only way to love being a woman can be pretty harmful to butch and gender nonconforming women and we need to help end that!

November 17 2017

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“can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding” is the most concise and powerful dismissal of people who are “jokingly” racist and i can’t believe it’s from a They Might Be Giants song





probably my favorite thing abt being a millennial is that i can lie on my resume abt shit like being proficient in excel bc i have the common sense to just google anything i dont know how to do which gives me a giant fucking edge over gen x in the job market bc somehow that strategy never occurs to employers and my underqualified ass looks like steve jobs every time i use a youtube tutorial to make a spreadsheet

Everyone in my office sings my praises for what I can do with excel for this exact reason, even though I joke with them that “I have no idea how to do that - but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I’ll figure something out for you.” I even once specifically said in response to my grandboss commenting on my excel skills, “You do realize that I just like…google stuff when you ask me to do something with excel that I don’t know how to do, right?”

But his praise didn’t change at all. There was no “Wait, that’s all it is?”

Instead, he said “Yes, but the fact that you think to do that - and that you know exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get the right answer, and you then integrate what you’ve learned and use it going forward - is still so much more than any of the rest of us [the other 5 ppl on my team are all mid-40s and up] can do. To you, it’s “just googling stuff,” but it’s still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don’t shrug off the compliments so cavalierly, okay?“

And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don’t undervalue your googling skills, kids. It’s not lying if you know you can figure it out.

top tier search skills: finding the source of a rare meme

You all underestimate the value of technological literacy. We basically grew up learning to be reference librarians to the biggest repository of information in the world. It seems intuitive to us, and we tend to think older people are just slow for not getting it, but in reality it’s an incredibly valuable skill.

Don’t sell yourself short - we’ve got enough working against us in this economy. Market the hell out of every advantage you’ve got.

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Can we just take a second to talk about the fact that Doctor Strange let Loki fall through nothingness for 30 minutes instead of just putting him im some kind of room he can’t escape?!

Let someone love you the way you are - as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.
— Mark Hack (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
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les amis inktober day nine: ‘screech’ 
first | previous | next

back to posting!! i’ll hopefully catch up before the month ends

Twenty-First Century Victorians



Today’s upper middle class maintains the fiction of a meritocratic society, just as the Victorians did. This story allows them to shore up their economic position behind the backs of workers, who are taught that their health problems and dismal career prospects represent individual faults, not systemic dysfunction.

Of course, exercising, eating organic food, and pushing children to use their spare time usefully are not inherently bad things. However, they become markers of bourgeois values when they are marshaled to assert one class’s moral superiority over another and to justify social inequality. It was just as obnoxious in the nineteenth century as it is today.

We should care about health, food, and education. But instead of seeing them as ways to prop up class dominance, we should improve them for everyone. Imagine if all of the energy used to get mediocre, upper-class children into prestigious colleges was redirected into making higher education more accessible and affordable across the board. Imagine if access to healthy food for all was prioritized over attaining status through buying the most virtuous products. Imagine, in short, what our world would look like if socialist values — not Victorian ones — dominated.

This is SUCH a good read, you guys.

No shit, I was in a Political Philosophy class my last year of college, and we were discussing this exact thing. My professor (who was a piece of work in and of herself, tbh) says something to the effect of, “This class divide is held up by the cultural idea that rich people are inherently more moral than poor people”

And this fucking polo-wearing shit sitting next to me mutters under his breath, “But they are, though” and keeps on taking his fucking notes. Like what the fuck???

But yeah. Apparently this is a real thing that people think. 

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good morning starshine, the earth says ‘hell no’

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Even a Worm Will Turn, 2017.


There are no computers in Star Wars, and there is a good reason for this.

Star Wars, much like Dune, is fantasy masquerading as science fiction, and its aesthetic is keyed to the human intuitions that expect tools to fit comfortably in the hand and intelligent things to have a face. Microprocessors and all of the ubiquitous invisible computation they enable just don’t work at human scale and don’t suit human intuitions, and must be eliminated.

Frank Herbert dealt with this problem in Dune by introducing the Butlerian Jihad, a war that led to a religious prohibition against the creation of thinking machines. This Amish-like restriction on allowable technologies allowed him to handwave away the lack of visible progress over thousands of years of galactic feudalism.

Star Wars was released in May 1977, a month before the Apple II went on sale, a couple of years before the IBM PC, when the power of a computer could still be measured by its size. Data was spooled onto rolls of tape, or stacks of punched cards, or metallic disks that took two hands to carry around. Computers were more like industrial facilities with plumbing and ducting, humming with power flowing through transformers and valves, not the ubiquitous silent shards of silicon that permeate our lives today. It seemed reasonable to suppose that a bigger computer was a better computer, and a computer good enough to run a galaxy must be big enough that you could ride a bicycle around inside it.

Although computers were treated much like giant steam engines in the popular imagination, this didn’t apply to robots! Even Asimov drew a distinction between his MULTIVAC computer the size of a city block and his golem-like humanoid robots with their “positronic brains” wandering around having emotions and falling in love and wrestling with ethical dilemmas. We are very willing to accept that anything with a face can be smart, and the fondness for BB-8 shows that having an eye and being cute as a button is all it takes to ensure complete suspension of disbelief.

Watching a new movie like Rogue One, now, after forty years of Moore’s Law, it’s hard not to laugh when they have to extract files from a database the size of a skyscraper by physically climbing up inside it and pulling out a cartridge the size of a book. But you have to admit that this kind of thing makes sense in a way that modern computers don’t. You could explain this scene to a monk in the middle ages and they would get it, whereas a 32GB SD card the size of your fingernail is just silly.

But it’s not just about hardware progress, Star Wars doesn’t have computers. Wait you say, what about Luke’s targeting computer? What about all the screens and readouts in the space ships? While those may perform computation, much like a pocket calculator, they are not general purpose computers. A computer is not really a tool, a computer is the raw substrate for making tools by giving it the correct program. A computer is a meta-tool that eats all other tools, and this is Inhuman and Wrong which is why it does not exist in Star Wars.


I’m sick of temporal plans. I don’t want to hang out next Wednesday, let’s chill after the next thunderstorm. Meet me when it’s 75 degrees. Time isn’t real.

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